Chattanooga Crawl

Hogan and I have been the Downtown Drunkards the past few weekends. Two weeks ago, I was the total Waste Case. That Sat night, we started by splitting 2 pitchers of LITs from Mellow Mushroom. We sat out on the patio and saw lots of ER folks. My bro and his friends. Warren and his girl. Jared and his leading lady. Tom and David drove down and joined us. We walked to Big River...to Hair of the Dog. At Tmac, I had 1.5 Hurricanes (David spilt my first one). Hogan and I had Sex with an Alligator...which we ordered as a shot, but was served in a big ole martini glass. Unfortunately, there was a wedding party out on the patio with us...and the groomsmen insisted we drank our Alligators as shots. Buddy helped me out by tipping my glass up while I drank. LoL. Thanks. We also joined the TMac Passport Club? I don't know. Some sort of beer reward card. Buck Wheezy was next on the list of places to visit. And if my memory serves me well, we enjoyed Redheaded Sluts upstairs at Buck Wild...and then ended the night downstairs with WFAs...Whitney Fucking Andrews. Those were the death of me. Haha at some point during the night, I apparently decided I liked boys with tattoos and tounge rings? I don't know. Ask Heather. We had some drunken conversation. I was responsible and called my brother to come pick me up. He arrived. I passed out in his car. He took pictures of me passed out with her camera phone. Gotta love siblings. I slept on his couch. Apparently, my drunken swagger was quite amusing as I tried to walk up to his apartment. He told me all about it the next morning. Even demonstrated for me. Oh, and the best part. I had to be at Kelly's graduation the next day. Hahaha. That was interesting. I got to play the infamous game "What Floor of the Parking Garage Did I Park?" Basically (wearing last night's clothes keep in mind), I rode the elevator to each floor of the Bijou...and would stick my head out of the elevator doors and look around. No car? Next floor. I was parked on the 5th floor. Lol. I did make it to Kel's graduation. Between my rough late night look and then Lindsey showing up covered with hickeys, we were some classy ladies at graduation. AND Tony's Pasta afterwards. LoL.

Well. Last weekend, Hogan was the drunkard. We met my bro, my Brazilian bro, Justin Perry, and Daniel at Mellow Mushroom for dinner and drinks (haha even though Daniel, Hogan, and I could only drink). Hogan drank a good pitcher and a half herself. I took it easy. Didn't wanna recap of the weekend before. Daniel, Hogan, and I went to Rhythm and Brews afterwards for some Velcro Pigmy action. Hogan LOVED them. "Its Fucking Captain Jack Sparrow!!!" Hogan yelled, referring to the bass player for Vel Pig. After a good hour or so, Daniel headed to Buck Wheezy. We stayed and enjoyed the show for awhile. Decided it was time to go try out our new passport cards. Tom and David met us at TMac. We tried different kinds of beer (I actually like SOME of their beer...only the stuff that doesn't really taste like beer). Hogan insisted on trying the Doggy Style beer...it was literally a beer named something-something Doggy Style. "It tastes like ASS!!!" Hogan slurred. What do you expect??? Its Doggy Style beer. A few 3 or 4 beers later, Hogan decided she wanted to dance. To Buck Wild we went. Met up with Daniel again. He got Hogan a shot. Then, bought us both Vodka and Red Bulls. LoL. On the dance floor, Hogan was using me as a stripper pole. LoL I was trying to hold her up...and dance with either Daniel or some brotha behind me...all while wearing heels. I rock. After awhile, we decided to head back to TMac with Tom and David. Everyone closed their tabs and we started the journey back to my car. LoL Hogan was TRASHED. She managed to pull her top shirt off, wave it over her head, and run diagonally across the road. Who needs crosswalks? LoL then she got to one side of the Bijou and yanked her pants down to moon us all. Tom ran after her yelling, "Baby...BABY!!! Pull your pants up!!!" HAHAHAHA!!! Then, she ran up the parking ramp to get to my car on the second floor. David and I were like, elevator? Yes please. When we met at my car, Hogan was sprawled across the hood of my car, pants half buttoned. Tom was holding her purse. She only got in my car after promising her Krystals. Tom and David headed back to their car. As I drove down the parking garage ramp, Hogan yelled, "STOP THE CAR!!!" Omg. Thought she was going to puke. I slammed on the brakes. She hops out of my car...pants still half unzipped...and roundhouse kicks a garbage can "HAIII YAH!!!" Mother of God. I yelled at her. She just giggled and ran back to my car. We met the guys back at Hogan and Tom's apt. Apparently as they walked back to their car from the Bijou, Tom and David climbed to the roof of the Sports Barn, took pictures of the Chatt skyline, and then stole a small satelite dish as a momento. LoL. They were covered in dirt and grease. Tom put Heather to bed. David and I pulled out the air mattress and watched V for Vendetta. And Tom and Heather's kitten, Disel, slept on my neck.