Irony

A week or so back...I had a rather horrible day at work. Down right wretched. I got off work and desperately needed to talk to someone. Anybody. So as I sadly drove down a dark Highway 153, I started dialing the first number that came to mind. Before hitting send, I hesitated. I didn't want to bother anybody with my problems. Waste anybody's time listening to my monotonous, boring problems. I hung up. The further I drove, the worse I felt. So I dialed other people. My friends? I left 2 voicemails. I had a brief chat with one of my gal pals. Did I mention it was brief? She was preoccupied with herself and boys. So I got the brush off. I called one of my good guy friends and was so relieved when he actually answered. 2 seconds into the convers, he goes, "Uh...Jess...can I call you back in like, uh, 15 minutes? Brooke's on the other line." Uh. Pussy whipped. Then I called another gal pal. Exact situation. She was eating dinner with a guy. Call me back in 20. Did I hear back from either of them the rest of the night? Nooope. So. Feeling even WORSE than I did before (on the verge of tears)...I dialed the very first number I wanted to earlier. No answer. As I prepared to leave a voicemail, EUREKA! He called me back immediately. I was so excited. We talked for a good while. Joked around. Laughed. I vented a little about work. It felt good to talk. Especially to him. And I felt sooo ridiculous...because after we got off the phone (I had a problem arrise that I HAD to take care of)...I freaking teared up. Gah. I do miss him. And that's the worse feeling: Here you are alone in your apartment. Smiling. Happy about the conversation. Thankful to be in a better mood. And you're blinking back tears anyways! Not wanting to cry. Refusing to cry. But those damn tears just blink, blink, blink. You're left with the watery, blinking, staring at the ceiling eyes. LoL. And you're left feeling silly there by yourself.